Types of Lawyers You Don’t Want

The Bulldozer

This person is your basic “Type A” personality, and their good in a courtroom to a point, but they don’t like to listen to you, they are not “coachable”, and it’s all about them gaining personal control, power and dominance.  They are horrible in mediation, which means they don’t like to go for the cheaper option for you.

To beat a Bulldozer, keep them jumping to conclusions, keep tossing out facts that they must mentally process, and above all, make them think their client is withholding information from them. 

Super Lawyer

They are the smartest person in the room and they let you know it.  Despite what they say they have a win rate of about 50%, because of unexpected things, like the judge overruling them on things that they miss.  They are not coachable as they already know everything about your case and how you mishandled everything until you walked into their office.

To beat a Super Lawyer, go low tech in your approach and tell a better story.  Say things like “There he goes again” or “What’s he rambling about now?”, this is Super Lawyer’s kryptonite as it personally frustrates them and makes them try to explain themselves even more, which further clouds the issues and leads everybody into confusion.  Then be the voice of calm and tell the clearer story.

The Best Mediator in the County

People are terrified of going to trial and lawyers know this, it’s like telling a captured soldier that the Nazi Gestapo is on their way to interrogate them…The vast majority of divorce work is done during the mediation process.  Here’s the concern, what if they must fight for something you want in court?  Say your visitation can’t be decided on and the judge will have to decide, will they fight for your wishes or try and negotiate?

To beat The Best Mediator in the County, challenge them constantly on the small details, make them look unprepared, this will rattle them so that they look bad in front of their client, which will compound the rattling and ego bruising they are taking.

The High-Priced Lawyer

These guys have an all-star team that bills you at least $30,000 for a divorce, these people get used by millionaires and such.  My advice is that if you have lots of money and are protecting even more money then you should hire the best.

To beat The High-Priced Lawyer, first you need an all-star team of your own, or somebody good that can coach you through the process and that can also coach your lawyer too.  Here’s where it gets rough, as the High-Priced Lawyer will have a team out there hunting for your support team and coach, so they must be low key.

The Lawyer that thinks they are a Judge

I ran into a lawyer that thought he was THE Judge last year.  Imagine your lawyer, deciding the outcome of your case based on their laziness, ignorance and arrogance?  (Ok, so that's not new, but this guy's interpretation of the law was really whacked out.)  Anyway, they warning signs were his use of the words "fair", "honest settlement", "the court will never allow that", and "I believe".  This guy tended to use these phrases in the oddest times during conversations.  

Besides just catching this type of lawyer in a dark alley some night, you should just fire them and blow them up on social media and get them out of the legal world.

To beat The Lawyer that thinks they are a Judge, you have to make their client think they are setting them up for a big fall.  Since the opposing client is always paranoid, it's not much of a push to make them think they will lose control of their lawyer and the lawyer will give away the farm.