Red Flag City!!! ---A Quick Guide to Online Dating
From time to time throughout your life you will find yourself single or unattached. This can happen through no fault of your own. My goal is not to give you relationship advice, but advice on how to keep you safe while you are looking for that relationship. However you got to this point in your life, the goal is to pick yourself up and get out there and find the “next” someone special.
This article will be broken up into several pieces to make it easy to follow.
Basic tips on how to protect yourself online, this is how executive protection people protect their celebrities that want email accounts:
1. Create a separate email account for your online dating activities. This gives you an extra layer of protection. Normally as the relationship progresses you want your emails to be a little more private so use a “burner” account instead of your normal ones. Keep in mind there are services that specialize in providing names, addresses, telephone numbers and other information of email account holders now.
So when developing a “burner” email account use:
a. How to develop a fake name for an account: You want the last name to sound real, but be a very, very common name. The first name you want to use a Tina, Mae, Ella, something that could have multiple variations, for example Tina, could be Christina. Yes, it violates the terms of your service provider, but they are data mining your emails so I think it’s a fair trade.
b. The actual email address needs to be something totally unrelated to you, like sailboat19890, where you hate the water and would never go sailing. This way it’s another dead-end to try and find you. Keep in mind a stalker will search websites relating to sailboats in the hopes of finding you.
c. For ease of use make sure the provider name which is like yahoo, outlook, or aol is compatible with your phone.
d. Leave the age and gender blank on your profile as it helps to confuse stalkers and con-men.
e. Once you’re done with a “burner” account delete it as scammers like to cycle back through different old lists and they sell their lists to other scammers, so save yourself the hassle and delete the old accounts.
f. Each open email account that is in your real name shows up in an Intelius search, which is a pay as you go search engine that specializes in finding people fast. It’s highly effective at tracking people down as most people leave a pretty easy digital trail to follow.
2. On posting pictures:
Here’s what I learned from a focus group of pedophiles that I surveyed once:
a. No children’s photos, yes, your grandchildren are cute, but pedophiles look for lonely women with children, so please don’t post photographs of children.
b. Pedophiles actually “shop” for children on dating websites to abduct or molest, they gain the mother’s confidence, figure out where the family lives then they begin getting close to the mother and child.
c. Pedophiles approach “shopping” for children as a full time job and nothing is more important the finding the next child to molest.
Here’s what I learned doing supporting operations for several government agencies, it’s odd but most of these agencies now use social workers as interrogators and intelligence analyzers:
The downside to photographs is they can tell who you are and where you live. So do this to one of your pictures that you have posted:
1. Pick out a picture you posted on the internet.
2. Right click on the picture.
3. Then click view source and look at the code.
4. Then do inspect element (restart at step 2 above).
5. Normally you can get an address of where the picture was taken and the name of who took it!
6. How to prevent this? Make sure geo-tracking is turned off in your phone and in your camera.
d. Don’t use the same pictures you use on Facebook or Linked In for your dating website. All you have to do is copy and paste the photo to your computer, then go to google images, upload the photo and every instance of that photo will pop up! It’s quick and effective for finding someone. The rule that the bad guys use is: Find the person, then find the family, and then find the leverage to get what you want.
e. Here’s is why you don’t want to do X-Rated pictures and videos:
1. Normally blackmail comes in three forms which is extortion, coercion and commercial pressure. With X-Rated pictures all three of types of blackmail come into play. And with anything digital it’s always mouse click away from being sent to your family or to another blackmailer.
2. Emotional blackmail: This is normally used by people with personality disorders and they will use the X-Rated pictures to control and dominate your life by threatening to send the pictures to your family or place of work.
3. Simple revenge when the relationship is over: Go to a revenge porn site
and see for yourself. Nearly all of those girls trusted the wrong guy, then the pictures and videos went viral!
f. Posting pictures of yourself on the adult hook up websites opens you up for the site’s entire membership to see. It always comes back to haunt you and I highly recommend you stay off these sites as they only tear you down emotionally and spiritually. Plus it opens the door for a whole level of self-destructive behavior that you really don’t need in your life.
3. On the written part of your profile:
a. Be vague, you don’t have to tell people how much you make or where you work.
b. If you can’t be honest about the question then don’t answer the question.
c. Don’t post
4. On the emotional level dating like flying on an airplane is a contact sport, you need to be in shape to run around the airport with a bunch of bags. So start a workout program as it will also help you burn up the stress of dating as we all get deleted, rejected and chatted up by the wrong types of people.
This is what to avoid at all costs, just delete these people and find somebody else.
1. Pushy people… They demand to know more about you, ask tons of overly personal questions that make you feel uncomfortable.
2. You catch them in a lie or several lies. The real tip-off for liars is they will use misdirection or say that you didn’t understand what they said. They are just trying to manipulate you.
3. Bug you for your email address, phone numbers, home addresses, work location etc.. They normally do this very early in the relationship.
4. Early on they start bugging or even demanding X-Rated pictures from you, based on my experiences here is what happens:
1. A co-worker has been cyber stalking you, by pretending to be the man of your dreams. Then they post the X-Rated pictures in the office break room or send your X-Rated email company wide email. They do this to personally destroy you or at least to severely damage your reputation.
2. OR Worse!! That cool guy you met online could be a 14 year old boy pretending to be 35. And one X-Rated picture and you’re guilty of a Felony…and you can be convicted as a SEX OFFENDER!
Be Safe and Live Free!