Protecting Your Finances
As soon as you suspect something is wrong follow these steps:
Get a current Credit Report on you and each of your children, if possible your spouse too. But DO NOT break any laws!
Close any joint accounts or joint credit cards with both your names on them and get new ones with just your name, before the financial situation changes.
Change your life insurance policy now….. Just in case they get greedy and decide to have you murdered and yes they will think about that!
On life insurance: No lump sum life insurance payments to anybody. If you have children, then make a plan so that you can influence their lives, like $2,000 when the graduate high school, $5,000 when they get married, this way they don’t forget your sacrifice. A lawyer and insurance agent can fix this easily for you.
Whose name are the vehicles in? Split them up now BEFORE their new lover eyes your vehicle and you’re walking to work. Yes! It happens more than you think it does!
A house is usually the biggest investment a person has, so who's name is it in? Who is responsible for the payments, insurance, taxes, etc..?
Can you qualify for the new loan on the old house if it’s not paid off already? (And YES even if you’ve lived there for 20 years making payments you STILL HAVE to qualify for a new house loan.)
What if I want to be nice and let them keep the house and let my name stay on the mortgage, because they can’t afford to qualify for a loan? Well here’s what happens:
When they start missing house payments, it will wreck your credit score and you could lose the house completely. After a divorce most people’s credit is shaky at best, so it means you are stuck in apartments because you can’t qualify for a house for several years.
They will not maintain the house so look for additional expenses like a new roof, air conditioning, lawn mower and other problems. Trust me this will not go well for you!
Are you going to trust the person that just exposed you to every social disease on the planet to also manage your largest asset? Seriously is this about you being in their life or about you being slow to learn?
But think of the children! Why? They didn’t and why give your future Ex and their lover a place to shack up in front of your kids. It’s time to stop being manipulated by them.
Protect your pensions, social security, or retirement plans, these have to be notarized to be changed and pensions and retirement plans are frozen when divorce proceedings start (Hint, that’s why you need a lawyer fast!). Don’t forget to protect things of value like silver sets, guns, pictures, heirlooms and jewelry, by putting them somewhere safe, before the court order.
So here will be your situation:
If it’s a new guy in her life, he will want your guns, boat and pickup truck so keep them locked up and be prepared to hide them. I watched a grandfather’s heirloom pistol get stolen and pawned for $100 because the ex-wife got it first and gave it to her new man.
If it’s a new girl in his life? Look for your family’s heirloom jewelry to start vanishing; as nothing says “I love you” like your great grandmother’s diamond broach.
Anything they steal from you, well you want the items back before you sign the divorce papers and you’re willing to wait for them to return the items. Here’s where “degrees of manipulation and intimidation” can work for you. The bottom line is make them give back stolen items to you, if they refuse, go legal first, then ratchet up the “fear factor”:
The best way is to call their employer at home, this really shakes people up, be nice and ask for their assistance.
Then the police and treat it like a stolen item.
Then court as it was taken when all assets were legally frozen (normally).
Then their families and really reach out to everybody, make a game of it.
Then their friends, you know the ones that covered for them while they were cheating.
Then their friend’s employers also at home.
Leaving messages is golden because it lets people hear it many times.
Always be nice and ask for their assistance as it really rattles them!
Make sure you separate them from any future money you will be receiving.
Be persistent and if necessary mean, because money is money and being poor sucks!
Joint custody, with you as the child/children’s guardian in case your ex-spouse dies or is unable to care for the children due to a medical condition. Don’t let the spouse steal your children from you, especially if they were the one that cheated.
You want a copy of all the information on the personal computers, do this fast before they take it.
You want one of any duplicate items, like camcorders, cameras anything they took from you.
Your retirement fund will get chopped in half, deal with it.
You want HALF of the total assets from the marriage, so sit down and calculate the total assets in the marriage and stick to that number as a negotiating point. Go room by room if necessary, let them know you mean business plus this also helps you focus your lawyer.
Remember that no matter who’s right or wrong the cheating spouse’s family is now backing her, so don’t trust them. If they do back you don’t trust them still. It’s only your future, your children and your finances so you can afford to be paranoid.
Bottom line on Money and Property- If you want it then protect it...NOW.
Financial Support from your Spouse (Mostly the husband)
To protect the children’s future child support payments and future college education against the husband’s untimely death, the husband will pay for two term life insurance policies on his life. Each term policy will be $250,000 and remain in effect for each child until the child reaches age 26, the alternate beneficiary will be the divorced wife, who will also be responsible for managing and ensuring that the life insurance policies remain effect.
The wife requests half of all the husband’s retirement funds.
The wife wants all collectibles liquidated and wants half of the proceeds from the sales of those collectibles.
The wife wants monthly spousal support for 8 years, one for each year she assisted her husband through college and pharmacy school.
To protect the wife’s spousal support for 8 years, against the husband’s untimely death, the husband will pay for one term life insurance policy on his life. The term life insurance policy will be $250,000 and remain in effect for 8 years, the beneficiary will be the wife, the alternate beneficiaries will be the two daughters, who will also be responsible for managing and ensuring that the life insurance policy remain effect.
Medical, Dental and Counseling
The husband will pay for health and dental insurance for each child, until the child reaches age 26.
The husband will pay for health and dental insurance for the spouse for a period of 3??? years.
The husband is to pay for counseling for both children until the children are 26 years old.
To better raise the children, the wife wants the freedom to leave the state permanently to be closer to her family. Visitation will be arranged during school vacations.
The House Options
The wife wants the house put up for sale and the equity and proceeds from the sale split equally between the wife and husband. The wife will be responsible for selecting a real estate agent, setting the sale price, and conducting the negotiations.
The wife will acquire sole possession of the house through legal means (quick claim title, etc.) The wife will retain all equity and proceeds from the sale of the house.
The wife will acquire sole possession of the house through legal means (quick claim title, etc.) The wife will divide half of the equity and proceeds from the sale of the house with the husband.