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You can load software on your spouse’s phone to get copies of all their text messages and you can eavesdrop on their phone calls.  The bad news is they can do the same to you.  This $300 software also has an option to turn your phone into an intercom system so people can eavesdrop on all your conversations included those NOT on the phone, like in a meeting with your divorce lawyer, family, etc...  And guess what?  It only takes about 15 minutes to load the software on your phone and its invisible, with the only noticeable difference being your phone is warm to touch as the GPS is causing your battery to work harder.


Figure out who you can trust, pick people that will do the right thing and that will tell you the best way to move forward.  BUT don’t go around telling everybody everything as you’ll get in the habit of spilling ALL your secrets.


Watch where your mail and emails are going; also change the passcode on your phone’s answering machine.  Change all your passwords on all your different internet accounts.


Changing the locks should be an automatic response for several reasons:

     a.  Waking up to find their angry special friend at the side of your bed.

     b.  Coming home to find everything gone or just the more expensive stuff is missing.

     c.  Coming home to find they decided to move into your home and moved you out!

     d.  Coming home to find everything trashed or destroyed or all the financial papers picked over.  Identity theft occurs during many divorces so step up your self-protection efforts.

     e.  You know that duplicate key to your vehicle, yeah I’d get the vehicle locks changed too.

Dangerous Spouse Thinking Points

Besides calling the police, you need to have trusted security people or family members or friends with level heads, that you can call to protect you, your children and your property, should your spouse or their new significant other get violent.

Do you have someone or a security professional that can guide you through installing cameras, reinforcing locks, etc… if someone decides to get violent?

Divorces normally bring out the worst in people, so are you prepared for their worse?

What is the plan if your spouse decides to play a slow delaying game designed to break me financially to force you back with them?

What is the plan if your spouse requests emergency custody of your children?

What is your plan if your spouse or their significant other takes off with your children?

People and their Medications


By now you have realized that some people have chemical imbalances in their brains.  So if this is the case it will only get worse during a divorce as divorces are extremely stressful. 


If they are manic depressive or “bi-polar” look for the highs to be higher and the lows to be lower and the “more normal” periods to get shorter.


If they are schizophrenic, look for them to have more imaginary conversations with imaginary people to include presidents and other famous people.  On the downside look for them to accuse you of all sorts of crazy things, like plots to kill them, stealing their underwear, or souls and even walking through walls.  (And these are just the situations I’ve helped in.)


Why do people stop taking their medications?  Mostly because they like how they feel, that euphoric feeling they get when they are “manic” is incredible for them.  Think of “manic” as driving 1,000 miles an hour and not caring if you hit a tree. 


Just suddenly stopping some of these powerful medicines is enough to cause a psychotic episode, (think of a psychotic episode as hanging out with Casper the Friendly Ghost one minute and Freddie Krueger from Nightmare on Elm Street the next minute). 


Most people don’t realize how dangerous these medications are, then add immaturity, alcohol, illegal drugs and combine that with the stress of a divorce and you have a real mess on your hands or the POTENTIAL for a real custody disaster especially if the grand-parents want to watch their grand-children grow up.

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